Another blogger, whose blog goes by the name of intriguing name of Unlimited Jargon, came across my little blog the other day. In this blog, which does say nice things about my efforts, (It’s good to hear people say nice things about you and you do need to hear good things sometimes. The probable reason why Caesar, good name for someone reading about the trials and tribulations of living in Italy, has found my blog interesting is that he or she may be someone who thinks in a similar way to myself and, this being the case, then there is a great possibility that this other person will also make comments which will make me prick my ears up a bit, sorry about the long digression in brackets. Anyway) Caesar, who is the blogger there, has written the following observation “All blogs have one horrible fact in common. The people in them seem to be having better lives than you.” Well, that may or may not be true but I can tell you that I’m not feeling all that hot about life at the moment and its not got anything to do with Italy, for the same situation and its reasons could exist just about anywhere, apart from Titan, maybe.
I work from home, this means I do a lot of preparation at home and treat my home like an office, which it is just about, full time internet, fax machine etc etc. To allow me to get some work done, which is necessary when you have something close to your own business, I need silence and peace so I can concentrate and come up with things which will interest my students, which in turn helps them to learn, which keeps them happy, which keeps my clients happy and which means I have an income. No clients, no income, it’s as simple as that when you are self-employed. However, the baby factor has entered the equasion. What I mean by this is that before baby, I could, and did, get lots done and still have time to have a life and lots of fun too. Alas, time has now become something which is fast becoming as rare as the proverbial hens teeth. Today, for example, baby is ill and I have to look after him, until lunch time, while his mum goes off to work, before returning at lunchtime, for a shift change. What’s the problem, I hear a few mothers cry, babies get ill, it’s part of the process. To which they may add, only a man could possibly complain in this way. Which is, hate to admit this, true. Well, it’s true about this man. But wait a mo, maybe I am not as bad as I’m making myself out to be. You see our little one gets ill around once every two to three weeks. Right before Christmas, his right eye swelled up, making the poor little fellow look like someone who has been a few rounds with an on-form Tyson. Before that all the way through from the end of the summer hols to Christmas, the little chap had been ill having something resembling a cold every other week. The little chap, has inherited, delicate sinuses, or so it would seem and these ‘cold’ episodes cause some kind of inflammation, which leads to his eye swelling up. I think I’m may be right in saying that Christmas was about the fifth time that this had happened. At least we did not end up in hospital at Christmas. He’s been in hospital three times in the last year or so, with the same problem, big eye. I’m relieved to have to report that the eye looks worse than it must feel, because baby has always taken these ‘attacks’ in his stride and remained in remarkably good humour. Amazing really. Resilient little thing he is. Now, the first time this happened, ending up in hospital, that is, you as a parent are prone to worrying, although I’m worried but philosophical at the same time, I know what young children can be like and feel pretty certain that it is nothing more than a phase and if baby seems OK in himself, then it’s not something to get too worried about. Well, that’s how I deal with the situation. Correction, how I dealt with the situation. After 20 months of not sleeping, not being able to work and not being able to have a life in general, is starting to get to me. I’m becoming worried that my work is suffering and this will lead to my losing clients and getting a bad reputation. Result, drastic fall, in what is already not one of the highest incomes in the world, by a long chalk. My other half’s boss is being very supportive and tolerant, but I wonder just how long he can maintain this level of patience. He is a good bloke, so there is hope. I feel like I’m stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea (I would choose the sea, incidentally, so I could go for a long swim, if the sea in the saying is a warm one, if the sea referred to is the North sea, then the devil will find that he has a new convert). I’ve got some opportunities for developing my business, but heaven only knows how I will be able to do this what with baby getting ill so regularly. Babysitters, you may shout, but paying 700 a month to a day nursery is already denting our income and having to fork out yet more on top, well, what would you do? Life is a bit of a circus act and you are but one of its jugglers, I think one could say.
So, dear Caesar, not everyone out there has a better life than you. If, however, after reading my wafflings, Caesar is still feeling bad, then I feel sorry for him or her, very sorry. But then, upon reflection, my trials and tribulations are positively trivial compared to those in Asia. I’m worrying about future problems, which may not become real problems. The Tsunami victims do not have the luxury of such worries. I should put myself into perspective more often, it, sort of, helps you deal with life.